From Ed Harris to Stanley Tucci, women everywhere are desiring and dating balding men, fondly stroking their thinning manes

The Oscars were this week, and as usual I took the day off to judge the red carpet looks from my tracksuit pants-ed position on the couch, pick apart the monologue (love you Conan), declare I could write better presenter segments, and keep an eye on social media to see which stars cause the most buzz.

This year, I noticed something interesting: in a room full of classically handsome stars such as Chris Evans and Michael B Jordan, as well as newly minted hotties like Heated Rivalry’s Hudson Williams, I was reading many appreciative and deeply thirsty tweets about … bald 75-year-old Ed Harris.